Every person that I know and communicate with suggests that I write. They actually don't suggest, they harp on me to do so. Yet every time I think of something to write about, I sit at a blank page unable to put anything down. Writer's block before you even begin! I can't think of a subject that I could begin to write about that keeps me interested. How could it possibly keep a reader interested?
So here I am, retired. Not by choice, but due to my age and the current state of the economy, I have been unable to find a job since November. Finally, I gave in and filed for early Social Security. That allows me to at least have my bare minimum needs taken care of. Not many frills available, but still.
So I am going stir crazy every day. Nothing to do. I watch a lot of television. I play an online MMORPG. I am in the town where I grew up, but I have been unable to reconnect with anyone from here. And since I have no outside activities, I have no forum to meet new people and make friends or any kind of socialization.
I have been pressing my brain for something to invest my attention in, and so far the only thing that I have come up with is volunteering for the Obama campaign in some way. I am a little at a disadvantage, since my health will not allow me to walk or stand for very long (so I can't pound the streets, as they say) and I desperately hate cold calling and recruiting (so that counts me out for canvasing for donations and all that), but perhaps they need some other kind of desk help that I can fulfill.
I remember when I was 14 and I had just watched the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. Oh, man, I fell head over heels for them. I not only loved the music and the guys but I loved the idea of this small band from Liverpool to make such an impact and occupy the minds of America and music industry.
When I went to school the next day, I tried to connect with kids from the school that had seen the program and were as excited as I was. There weren't many, but one or two. Remember, the last time the music industry had taken the US by storm was almost a full decade before with Elvis. Though there had been other fads, like Dr. Kildare and Ben Casey kind of thing, what Beatlemania was turning into was something much greater than that, and you could feel it palpably the next day even.
But since I really couldn't find someone to relate to at my school, I wasn't sure what to do. I tried talking to other kids about it, but mostly the boys made fun of them and the girls either hadn't watched or they had boyfriends and other kinds of things to keep their life interesting. I had none of that at the time. And rather than risk being shunned by everyone for this excitement I had about a band, I kind of pulled away and kept to myself, as usual.
I'd have to consult my diary at the time to get the exact details, but it probably took me about a month to understand that I had to go out and find other people who were as interested in the Beatles and their music as I was because I was that excited and wanted to be around other people who felt the same way.
I was a pretty shy girl and it took a whole lot for me to do this, but I heard of a Beatles fan club meeting in the next community over, and somehow I managed to get my parents to take me over there. And when I was there, I met another George fan. She would become a very good friend of mine and a few years later would be the one who introduced me to my future husband. I got involved in the music community as well. I affiliated myself with the local television station that had started its own version of American Bandstand, called TV8 Dancetime and started organizing people to go there, plus I got involved with the local radio stations, most notably KCBQ and KDEO. My life started to get exciting and interesting and I was really having a great time!
So I'd say that that decision I made to break out of my box and reach out was a very important one that changed my life.
Perhaps whatever drives me to reach out again and make that stride into an unknown group will provide me with the same breakthrough as when I was 14 and simply looking for other people who loved the same thing I did.
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